Kate* isn’t sure if she is helping or harming the situation.
Sitting at the breakfast bar fighting back her tears, she wonders: “When will Annie* be able to manage life better? Is school always going to be such a challenge for her?”
It feels like Kate works harder than Annie does at helping herself. It seems like everyone’s lives revolve around Annie’s life.
Kate wonders, “Do I let her stay home and miss school again, encourage her, be firm with her, or punish her? Am I unintentionally rewarding her?”
Nothing seems to make a difference with Annie.
Life feels like two steps forward, one step backward.
Kate schedules therapy sessions for her daughter, and Annie seems to be doing better.
Annie complains less of headaches and hasn’t missed school. She is spending more time with friends.
Things have improved, but old habits die hard. Annie’s room is a mess, she didn’t do her chores, and her grades aren’t great.
Kate says something, and they are fighting the next thing you know. Kate doesn’t understand how things go south so quickly. Annie is crying, and Kate is crying.
House divided – chaos and fights take over.
Kate* and John* mostly agree on parenting their kids, but they tend to butt heads when Annie struggles.
They worry about Annie while feeling the pressure of working full-time, trying to keep up the laundry, cook, clean, and juggle the kids’ sporting events several nights a week.
Somehow, tempers get sparked, and good cop and bad cop play out.
If John and Kate aren’t fighting each other, they referee fights between the kids or the kids and the other parent.
Better together than divided.
The truth is that when one family member struggles with something, it impacts the whole family, especially parents. Regardless of the issue, the family finds itself responding at home, school, or work.
As divisions in the family occur, things change, resulting in avoidance of events, wavier of responsibilities, and changed plans – accommodating in some way, every day.
Those accommodations include manipulating situations to reduce emotional distress and keep ADHD family members organized while reminding them constantly of important dates or assignments.
The tug of war between understanding and resentment strains relationships.
Family therapy helps bring families together.
Family therapy identifies ways to help each member feel respected, understood, accepted, and supported to be their best selves. Therapy helps establish family values, ground rules for conflicts, and clear boundaries allowing everyone to feel safe and know that the family hears their voice regardless of age. Together, we seek to gain insight into patterns and roles that go unnoticed in the family.
We try to address the following questions: What issues cause the most conflict? Are certain relationships under more strain than others? How does one person’s anxiety feed another’s? How can an ADHD family support a shift toward more individual independence? What divides and what unites the family?
We will seek ways to strengthen relationships between each family member to reduce overall tension. Goals may include improving communication and listening skills so that arguments are less intense and resolved faster.
We want to explore ways to connect, have fun, and celebrate individual accomplishments and family successes along the way!
Break the unhealthy patterns today!
You can stop the backsliding through family therapy and make progress moving forward.
You can find ways to reduce the fighting and needless attempts at accommodating to avoid fighting.
Come together as a family united!
Call for a free 20-minute phone consultation to see if Family Counseling would be helpful for you and your family!
*Names changed for composite issues of several clients.